Bitterness
by Neverland Child
Summary: Steve goes to vist an old friend... But it doesn't turn out the way he wanted it to.


**A random one-shot I thought of a few days ago... **

**Review and enjoy!**

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_**Bitterness**_

The early morning sun peeked over the buildings, splashing the world with sunlight. It illuminated the streets, showing the never ending stream of cars. Most people would be wide awake, having slept well and are ready for a new day.

Not Steve Rogers.

He was never ready for a new day, never ready to face the never ending struggle of trying to embrace the 21st century. Sleeping didn't help him get over these feeling either. If he was asleep, he was haunted with dreams of when he was Captain America, of the Red Skull, of Peggy Carter. And when he was awake, he was haunted with the same memories.

Steve punched away at a punching back, grimacing and grunting with every swing. He was beating them. Beating away the memories. But no matter how hard he hit, no matter how badly they were wounded, the memories always came back, ready to torture him. They all floated around in his mind: All the explosions, every shout of command...

His last conversation with Peggy.

Steve punched the bag and sent it flying to the other side of the room. He stood there for a moment, just thinking, trying to push the memories from his mind. He let out a sigh and looked around the gym. That was his lasting punching bag. He looked up at the clock. Five in the morning. Steve sucked in a deep breath and rub his temples. He started to untie the gauze from his hands. Time to leave and caught at least five minutes of sleep.

Steve wandered out of the gym and back up to his room. Since the day he woke up in Time Square, he'd been staying with a agency called S.H.I.E.L.D., which stood for StrategicHomeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. Steve had woken up at the S.H.I.E.L.D. agency after being asleep for seventy years. It was hard, having fallen asleep fighting a war, then waking up and hearing the war was over and won.

As Steve walked through the halls. He passed a few S.H.I.E.L.D agents, but neither Steve or the agents acknowledge each others presence. Steve usually didn't sleep at night, so it was normal to seem him roaming the halls at five in the morning.

Once Steve reached his room and flopped down on his bed. It was a small room, with nothing more then a bed, desk, a trunk to keep your clothes in, and a small bathroom. There was a window in Steve room, on the wall where his bed was. Sometimes, he just watch traffic zoom by, or the people down below.

After lying on his bed for fifteen minutes, Steve sat up and looked around his room. To bad he wasn't a reader; he could pass the time with a few books. Most books he read where history. Steve had read history text books, starting in World War II. He just wanted to know what happened in the seventy years he'd been under ice.

Steve swung his legs over the side of his bed and walked over to the desk. On it was a laptop with the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo. The logo was glowing a light blue, telling Steve the computer was on stand-by. Steve opened it and on the screen was once again, the S.H.I.E.L.D logo with a search bar underneath it. Steve sat there for a moment, his fingers floating over the keys.

Then he found himself typing in 'Peggy Carter'.

He hit search and tons of results showed up. Steve hit the first one. There was a small biography and Steve scanned over it:

_Peggy Carter was an officer of the Strategic Scientific Reserve and fought in World War II. Some had said they heard her say she fought along side Captain America - the famous hero of WWII. _

Steve stopped reading. That was all he needed to know. That was Peggy, his Peggy. It said she was living at a old folks home. That didn't surprise Steve much. He'd been asleep for seventy years so that would have made her... At least ninety years old. Steve read the address to the old folks home she was staying in and was surprised to find it was only a few blocks away. Steve quickly threw on a pair of shoes and grabbed a jacket before heading out.

The halls were full of agents now, bustling around. Steve pushed his way through them, a serious look on his face. He went down to the underneath of the building where cars were parked. He spotted a motorcycle and hopped onto it. He found the keys were already in the ignition and he powered it up. Steve directed it out of the building and into open traffic and hit the gas. He wound through the traffic. At least he knew how to ride a motorcycle. He'd seen the inside of a car from this age; all the buttons and whistles made his head spin like a top.

Steve took in a deep breath, drinking in the morning air. He really needed to get out more. Steve eventually pulled up in front of a one story building with a large parking lot. There was an iron gate going across it and had _Fair Oaks Retirement Home_ in golden lettering across it. Steve pulled up to it and it opened automatically. He parked the motorcycle in the half empty parking lot and walk into the building.

The lobby had a few older citizens in it and a few families were there as well, talking with them. Steve approached the front desk were a women in scrubs was scribbling something on a clipboard. She didn't look up at Steve until he cleared his throat.

"Yes?"

"Um, do you have someone here that goes by the name of Peggy Carter?" Steve asked.

"Hold that thought," The lady said and moved over to a computer. She type something on the keyboard and then went back to Steve. "We do. Peggy Carter, ninety years old, fought in World War II."

Steve nodded. "That's her..." Steve was lost in memories about Peggy for a moment, but quickly brought himself out of it. "Can I see her?"

"You can, but I have to ask how you know her," the women said. "Are you her son? Nephew?"

Steve stood there for a moment thinking. He looked up and met the women's eyes. "I'm the son of someone she knew a long time ago."

The women nodded, accepting the answer. She moved out from behind the desk and said, "Follow me."

She lead him down quiet hallways. A few elderly folks were either walking or rolling in wheelchairs up and down the halls. It made Steve said to see elderly people. Some just seemed so helpless, like if you touched them, they would shrivel up and die. Steve wondered if that would ever happen to him, if he would age like that, become weak. He'd never know until he got there.

The women stopped in front of a closed door. "She doesn't share a room, but be careful: She can be rather... Cranky."

Steve frowned. "Cranky?"

The women nodded. "She likes to be left alone, like she's depressed."

Steve allowed a small smirk. "I think I can handle her." The women gave him a suspicious look before opening the door.

Steve stepped into the room and took a look around: A small room with white walls, green carpet, a bed and dresser, and a window, looking out on New York traffic. In the bed, sat and old lady. She had white thine hair and was in a white hospital gown. She was staring out the window, no emotion on her face.

Now Steve was having second thoughts. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe he should leave. No. He came this far, and he'd never forgive himself if he chickened out. Steve cleared his throat. The old lady slowly turned her head to look at him. Her mouth feel open slightly and she took in a small breath.

"Steve?"

Steve smiled. "Peggy."

Peggy smiled and her eyes seemed to dance with happiness. "Steve, oh Steve. You're alive!"

Steve let out a small laugh. "Ya..."

Peggy was still smiled, amazing. "Well don't just stand there, come here!" Steve couldn't help but smile at her as he moved toward her. He sat on the edge of the bed and let Peggy look him up and down. "S.H.I.E.L.D. told me they found you, but I didn't believe them. I was certain that you had..." She trailed off. She looked down at her old wrinkled hands.

Steve sighed. Suddenly, he chuckled. "I still feel bad about missing our date."

Peggy laughed, still looking down at her hands. "You do know I've never forgiven you-" A sob escaped her lips. She started to cry and buried her face in her hands.

"Hey," Steve said, reaching up and slowly pulling her hands away from her face. "What's wrong?"

Peggy was still sobbing, tears streaming down her old face. "It's just... I mean, look at you! You're still young and healthy, and I'm an old women."

"That doesn't mean anything," Steve said. He was holding her hand, trying to comfort her.

"Yes it does!" Peggy shouted. "It's so strange... It's too strange! Everyone I knew back them died, but your still alive and still look like you did seventy years ago and I..." She couldn't finish her sentence. They sat like that, Steve holding her hand, Peggy trying to stop her sobs.

Peggy took in a shaky breath. "All these years, I just wanted to see you again. Just wanted to see you in front of me. And now that you're here..." Peggy let out a sob.

Steve looked down, bitting his lip. Finally, he stood. "I think I should get going... I left and didn't tell anyone..." He let out a nervous laugh. "Fury will probably have my butt when I get back."

Peggy giggled. "I wouldn't be surprised." Steve smiled a little, then turned to leave. He gripped the door handle, but looked back to steal one last look at Peggy. She was looking out the window, not noticing him.

"Good bye Peggy," Steve said, then opened the door and left.

When the door shut, Peggy smiled slightly. "Good bye Steve."

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The next day, Steve was laying on his bed, hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. The door open and Nick Fury was standing there. Steve looked at him, surprised, but then he noticed it was Fury. He looked back up at the ceiling. "Here to chew me out about yesterday?"

"No," Fury replied calmly. "I'm here to bring you news." Steve raised his eyebrows and made a rolling motion with one of his hands. Fury took a deep breath, then said, "Peggy Carter died last night."

Steve instantly sat up, shock covering his face. "What?"

"She died, after you say her," Fury restated. "A nurse was with her when she died. The nurse said Peggy smiled, then said 'After all these years, I finally saw him again. Now I can go.' Then, she closed her eyes."

Steve was shocked. He ran a hand over his face and sighed. "I knew it, I knew I should have never seen her." Steve stood up and started pacing, running his hand through his hair. Suddenly, he hit the wall with his fist, teeth clenched in anger. Fury didn't even jump.

"This is nothing to get mad about Steve," Fury said. "She wanted to see you and she got her wish." Fury turned and left, leaving Steve alone. Steve gripped the iron frame of his bed, tears falling from his eyes. He looked out the window, the tears flowing freely now.

"Peggy..." He whispered. "I'd wanted to see you too."


End file.
